摘要：
学英语的奇闻趣事2008年山寨风刮遍了大江南北，小编终于知道了电视直销中集十八般功用于一身、不怕摔不怕踹上得了刀山下得了火海的“钢板手机”原来出身山寨。2008年印象最深刻的就... 学英语的奇闻趣事
2008年山寨风刮遍了大江南北，小编终于知道了电视直销中集十八般功用于一身、不怕摔不怕踹上得了刀山下得了火海的“钢板手机”原来出身山寨。2008年印象最深刻的就是网络怎样把一波又一波不入流的文化捧红，让人有了茶余饭后的谈资。以下就是小编为大家盘点的若干山寨英语的冷笑话，咱们国人大多从小闷在家里学英语，好些都没见过老外真人一个，难免会造出点儿比较“山寨”的说法来。这里的内容只需看后一笑，切莫当真学习哦！没带避雷针的赶快回家去取，被雷倒概不负责~ 最搞笑的就是最近流行的英文版《说句心里话》，还是阿甘版的。话说阿甘傻乎乎的形象还真有点兵哥哥的憨直劲儿！小编听了开篇第一句话就狂笑不止，从此这个调调和这些雷人英语就深深烙在心里，一不小心就会失声唱出来……以下是 歌词：say a word in heartI think my home toooften think my mother is white in hairsay a word in heart I have love toooften think a sleep hera sleep hercome~ come comebut became a soldiercome~ comeI know duty is bigyou don't carry gunI don't carry gunwho protect our motherwho come guard herwho come guard her仔细看看，囧是囧了点儿，居然没有语法错误……演唱者嗓子还特好，有点郁钧剑的风范。只是大家千万别把“来~来~”的语气词说成“come~come~”啊！人家还会以为你在叫宠物……囧片年年有，今年特别多。这些日子有《红楼梦》，它的前辈《新白娘子传奇》还是英文版的呢。开篇第一幕就是咱这代人从小看到大的经典镜头，画外若干干渴男声幽幽地和着：“Waiting one thousand years, One thousand years for a chance...” 几个男生身披被单手拿锅盆，说着有点蹩脚的英语，上演了一出许仙斗法海的“大戏”。小编定睛一看，甚觉眼熟，原来是松江大学城几位学弟的作品，向学友致敬了！搞笑效果还是要加分的……尤其是那只趴在地板上的小螃蟹。部分歌词和台词 片名： 《The Legend of Lady White》 《新白娘子传奇》 (以前的译法是“The Legend of Lady White Snake”，小编觉得没了“snake”感觉更好，不然真像一部恐怖片了。)歌词： Waiting one thousand years, 千年等一回 One thousand years for a chance. 等一回啊 Waiting one thousand years, 千年等一回 I have no regret. 我无悔啊 台词： 取自许仙救白蛇，与法海对抗的一幕。 Xu Xian: Fa Hai, come out to me! 许仙：法海，给我出来！ Fa Hai: Which one call me？Today’s youngsters become more and more impolite. 法海：哪个在叫我？如今的年轻人真是越发不懂礼貌了。 Xu Xian: You, stop! Give my wife back! 许仙：你，快停手，还我娘子！ 看完了两个搞笑段子，来看个相对“正经”的吧。 话说英语本来就是一门非常开放的语言，数百年的发展中吸收了世界各种语言的精粹，其中也有咱非常引以为豪的汉语。越是入流的、精华的文化，越是容易辐射影响到周边文化。“niubility”这个词你知道不？是不是看着眼熟，又有点莫名？不认识的看看下面这句话，保证你越看越糊涂：Many people think they are full of niubility, and like to play zhuangbility, which only reflect their shability.这几个词儿虽说难登大雅之堂，但可谓是中国语言中的极品了，对应的正是：牛X、装X、傻X。据说这几个词的写法是不对的，牛人们给了我们正确的指导，并列举了若干丰富的例句和词形转换：niubility：正确拼写应为newbility，名词 zhuangbility：正确拼写为drunbility，名词 shability：保持原拼写方式，名词 下面对几个词的词性作一下延展： drunbility 1、drunbility的词根为drunb，动词，装X的原意 进行时：drunbing；过去时：drunbed；完成时：have drunbed 2、drunbee：名词，装X的人，有装X倾向的人 例句：林 is a drunbee, but my father likes her, which is disgusting. 林是个装X的人，但是偶爸爸喜欢她，真恶心。 3、druber：名词，以装X为职业的人，专业装X者 例句：牛 is a drunber, he has been drunbing all his life, who is professional. 牛是个职业装X者，他一辈子都在装X，是专业级的。 4、drunby：形容词，装X的 例句：The way you playing music by your mobile phone on a bus is very drunby, not metion the song is 求佛. 你在公交车上用手机放音乐是很装X的，更别说那歌是求佛。 (用山寨手机放就更出彩了，动静特别大，我见识过。)5、drunblization：名词，装X化 例句：As more and more Starbucks running in China, the drunblization is getting worse and worse. 随着越来越多的星巴克在中国运营，人民装X化也越来越严重了。 6、drunblism：名词，装X主义 例句：The revolution of drublism in France starts in 1863, and people seems respecting that. 法国装X主义运动起源于1863年，人们貌似很崇拜。 newbility 1、newbility词根为newby，形容词，原意为牛X 例句：I think the song named 你是我的玫瑰我是你的花 is very newby. 我认为那首你是我的玫瑰我是你的花很牛X。 比较级：newber；最高级：newbest 例句：There is no newbest, only newber. 没有最牛X，只有更牛X。 2、newber：名词，牛X的人 例句：王小波 is a newber, and 罗永浩 is also a newber. 王小波是个牛X的人，罗永浩也是个牛X的人。 3、newbable：形容词，可以牛X的，值得牛X的 例句：I think the cup of 34E is newbable, you should be proud. 我认为34E的罩杯很值得牛X，你应该自豪。 4、newbilization：名词，牛X化 例句：The newbilization of white collar is a global problem. 白领牛X化是个全球性的问题。 shability 1、shability词根为shaby，名词，傻X 例句：周 thinks 崔 is a shaby, which turns out 周 is the real big shaby. 周认为崔是傻X，结果周才是真正的大傻X。 2、shability，名词，傻X能力 例句：The power of your shability is as damagable as the earthquake. 你傻X的能力犹如地震一样具有毁灭性。3、shabilization，名词，傻X化 牛X这个词你可千万别认为是土鳖文化，其实在欧美可是相当流行。一位熟悉汉语的美国人大呼：这个词的意思太微妙，翻译成哪一个英文词都差那么几分味道：The idea of ‘untranslatable words’ is very nice. It’s a token of value; it adds a touch of solemn mystery to the work of translation, which otherwise consists mostly of nose-scratching, window-staring, and finding something to weight the book down with. But look, you see? We also have an ineffable something; a tragic ideal; we’re not simply pulling a plow.Sometimes I think there’s actually such a thing as an untranslatable word, sometimes I don’t. On a good day it seems that any word or phrase could be rendered into English with enough care, even if the word itself vanished and were detectable only through a subtle ruffling of the surrounding text.But on a bad day, I'm trying to translate níubī.On the face of it, niubi is not untranslatable at all: the characters niu and bi can be rendered into English with great precision by the words – and I beg your pardon – ‘cow pussy’, niu being the zoological reference, bi the anatomical. But though the denotation of niubi is embarrassingly plain, it’s connotations are far from obvious.Niubi is a term of approbation, perhaps the greatest such term in colloquial Chinese. Niubi is an attitude, a lifestyle: a complete lack of concern over what other people think of you, and the resulting freedom to do whatever you please. It is knowing exactly what you’re capable of, making the decision to act, and to hell with the consequences. It is the essence of ‘cool’, but taken to the nth degree, and with a dirty word thrown in.Of course, like all great philosophical concepts, niubi has an inverse side – an excess of niubi leads to self-importance, arrogance, hubris, imperiousness, and very dangerous driving. The key difference between positive and negative niubi is that in the former, you have the ability (本事, běnshì) to back your attitude up, while in the latter you don’t. Thus the derivatives bīyàng (the appearance of a bi), and zhuāngbī (pretending to be bi – in northeastern China this will start a fight). The line between positive and negative blurs when it comes to people in positions of power, who assume they are justified in a certain measure of niubi.小编认为既然如此，这些词迟早都要被收入英语字典，变成红彤彤的主流英语。刚开始学英文时，很多人都干过用中文标注英文读音的注音大法。比如在Big后面标上“比格”，在come后面标上“考木”等等……学语言本来就是很囧的一件事，老外们学中文的时候也干过用英文标注中文读音的事儿…… 《老外的中文笔记》非常有意思，首先请大家读读原文：Dear Timshall by too dull doll by too jack wondolphin long can Jim shall by too lowshall by too when dull low, doll car lowdolphin long doll Ham Eason"more power!"没看懂？其实中文是：(看完中文之后，大家就知道为什么国际友人说中文读音总是怪怪的了……)第二天 (Dear Tim)小白兔(shall by too )到大白兔(doll by too )家去玩大灰狼(dolphin long )看见(can Jim )小白兔了小白兔闻到了(when dull low)，躲开了(doll car low)大灰狼大喊一声(doll Ham Eason)“莫跑！”("more power!"全文的精华就在这一句……)每次去逛城隍庙、七浦路等地，经常看到商贩们拿着个大号的计算器冲着老外比比划划，老外要走人还会被狠狠拉住袖子。也有的商贩明显文化水平较高，英文说得倍儿溜，当然生意就显得好做。下面的这个北京女人街的“土法教学”挺有意思，就是效果差了点儿；看来咱学英语还是不能太想当然，不能跟前面那位老外学中文似的，有时间多去听听老外怎么说，依样画葫芦才好让人家听得懂。 北京女人街山寨英语考起老外 好挖油 = How are you ？三克油 = Thank you“歪儿卡母(Welcome)”、“鼓捣普瑞斯(Good price)”这些是哪国语言？英语也！北京朝阳区女人街的商户们正用这类“土产英语”与外国顾客讨价还价。女人街的外国顾客近两个月激增十倍，管理公司因此要求商户恶补英语，否则冇得留低。商户为保生意，只好按当局提供的《应急英语》，以普通话发音拼读英语，但“土产英语”令外国人听得一头雾水，有外国人更乾脆以普通话与商户交谈。外籍客多商户要考英语 女人街位于朝阳区第三使馆区附近，随著美国新大使馆迁入第三使馆区，并在上月正式办公，女人街的外籍客流由以前每天数十人，增至目前约800人。女人街管理公司副总经理高振军称，商户一时无法适应与外国人谈生意，单靠指手画脚或借助计算机，不能留住客人。为了应急，他们便向逾千商户各派发《英语应急表》，上面附有普通话发音，如将“Thank you”标成“三克油”。“不懂英语音标，只好跟著中文念，现学现卖了”、“我都学了十几句，就是人家听不太懂。”一些女人街商户说。虽然商户们都努力地根据应急表说“英语”，但由于直接以普通话拼读英语，让英语发音十分生硬，加上商户们南腔北调的口音，结果令女人街内的外国顾客以为商户们说的是中文。一略懂中文的新西兰留学生前日在一家商铺内与商户李先生讨价还价，在几句艰难的交流后，该留学生便用普通话向李说：“你还是说中国话吧！”引得身边的顾客都哈哈大笑。除了提供《英语应急表》，女人街的管理单位目前每天为商户广播英语一小时，同时请人进行英语培训，稍后还将请专业人士对商户进行口试和笔试，商户考试不过关，就会被踢走。北京女人街应急英语 英文句：Wonderful(万得佛) 意思：极好英文句：Good price(鼓捣普瑞斯) 意思：价钱很公道英文句：No Discount(闹欧迪斯康特)意思：没有折扣英文句：May I help you?(美爱嗨扑由)意思：需要帮忙吗？英文句：How's this?(好斯贼斯)意思：这个怎麼样？英文句：Welcome(歪儿卡母) 意思：欢迎光临英文句：I'd like a suit(爱的赖克饿秀特)意思：我想买件套装
我在前面的文章提到过，我平时喜欢听音乐，因为听音乐能让我放松，从而提高效率。这是我在初中有了人生第一台复读机之后发现的事情，从那以后就开始喜欢边听歌边写作业了。以前从来不觉得这有任何问题，也从来没有问过自己为什么。所以在初中和高中的老师们不让我们在自习期间戴耳机的时候，我特别地不理解。虽然被明令禁止，但我还是由着自己的性子来。这中间被老师抓过几次，但神奇的是从来没有被没收过机器，于是也就不再害怕这项规定了。久而久之，在学校胆子也变得越来越大，导致后来高三的时候经常逃掉英语课去图书馆自习。也许当时的英语老师知道高三的我们又叛逆心理压力又大，也就一直都没有管我。我一直洋洋自得，却不知道不学习英语最终会让我付出代价。 话说回来，高中的时候真的特别不喜欢英语课，因为觉得和初中时候的英语课一比简直弱爆了。初中的英语课都是小班教学，比较注重口语的训练，还经常演情景剧，练对话等等，特别有意思。而高中就是背单词，背词组，记语法，非常无聊。于是高中英语课经常偷懒，作业只做阅读题之前的部分（高中英语老师不检查作业），课上也经常写其它作业，然后到了高三就干脆直接翘课了。现在想起来觉得特别后悔，不仅不尊重老师，也让自己的英语水平停滞不前。可惜的是后面到了大学还是一样地不认真上英语课，蒙混过关。我几乎是靠着初中的那点英语基础混过了高考和四六级，直到考托福的时候终于遇到了挫折。不过也正是因为挫折，开启了我自学的道路。 考托福之前，我并没有去上任何课程，全程自学。第一次考试，只考了80分。要知道那个时候总分120，而如果没上100就得重考。于是我考了第二次，96分，虽然进步了许多，但仍然没有过100分。后来又去考了第三次，这一次终于上了100分，而且还考了个110。每一次考试我都有努力准备，但前两次真的是基础太差，而且可能准备的时间并不够。但每一次都能提高十几分，说明每一次的用心准备都能让自己上升一个level。从这个时候开始，我慢慢地喜欢上了自学，因为我发现自己学习可以自己掌控节奏，不用浪费时间去重复已经掌握的知识，也可以花足够多的时间去学习不太容易理解的内容。 后来自学成了我生活中非常重要的一个环节，不管是读研究生期间还是开始工作之后。它不仅帮我拿到了dream company的offer，还让我接触到了更多感兴趣的领域，打开了新世界的大门。这些等以后有机会了再聊。
大二的时候有一次上英语课，老师在黑板上写了一个单词，这个单词是“hot dog”，全班同学都觉得太简单了没有人回答，结果我想也没想就是“热的狗”，结果老师用非常诧异的目光看着我。
有一次我和我的美国朋友聊起我家的趣事，我原本想说，我妈会撒谎（lie）逗我爸玩儿。但是说出来的却是“My mom cheated on him（我妈对我爸不忠）”……很久之后，我才意识到自己的错误，终于明白为啥朋友们都对我表示同情。
国外奇闻趣事英语
《farewell my concubine》——再见了，我的小老婆 （这可是《霸王别姬》的英文译名啊。） 《seventeen years》——十七年（故弄玄虚，《回家过年》） 《ashes of time》——时间的灰烬（《东邪西毒》，这个译名意味深长，无论你是东邪还是西毒，武功再高还不是最后都成了时间的灰烬？） 《all men are brothers: blood of the leopard》--四海之内皆兄弟：豹子的血（《水浒传》，《水浒传》有个英文译名就是《四海之内皆兄弟》）
A Difficult Question Four girls go to school every day by taxi. One day one of the girls says, "There is a test in the morning. Let's get to school late. Then we will not have to take the test." "What can we tell the teacher?" one of the girls asks. "He will be angry. We need a good excuse." The girls think for a few minutes, then one of them says, "Let's tell him that our taxi has a flat tyre." "That's a good idea," the other girls say. "We will tell him that." They arrive at school an hour later. The test is finished. "Why are you late?" the teacher asks. "You missed the test." "Our taxi has a flat tyre," one of the girls says. The teacher thinks for a moment, then he says, "Sit down." The girls do this . Then the teacher says, "Write on a piece of paper the answer to this question: Which tyre is flat?" what a difficult question ! The girls look at each other sadly. At last they give the different answers.一个困难的问题 四个女孩每天都乘出租汽车上学。 一天，其中一个女孩说，“今天早晨有一个测验，让我们晚点去学校。 那么，我们将可以不用测验了”。 “那我们怎样告诉教师呢？” 其中一个女孩问。 “他一定会很生气的。 我们需要一个借口。” 女孩想了几分钟，然后说，“我们就告诉他，我们的出租汽车的一个轮胎瘪了”。 “真是一个好主意”，其它女孩高兴地说。 一个小时以后，他们到达了学校。 测验已经结束了。 “为什么你们迟到了？” 教师问。 “你们错过了测验”。 “我们的出租汽车的一个轮胎瘪了”，其中一个女孩说。 教师想想了一会儿，然后说，“坐下”。 女孩照着做了。 然后，教师说，“请你们回答这个问题，并把答案写在纸上，那就是哪一个轮胎是瘪的？” 这是一个多么困难的问题啊！ 女孩悲伤地互相看着。当然啦，结果不说大家也知道，同一个问题，他们竟给了四个不同的答案。
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea? A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys. 猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？
funny stuff
英语趣闻趣事
A Difficult Question Four girls go to school every day by taxi. One day one of the girls says, "There is a test in the morning. Let's get to school late. Then we will not have to take the test." "What can we tell the teacher?" one of the girls asks. "He will be angry. We need a good excuse." The girls think for a few minutes, then one of them says, "Let's tell him that our taxi has a flat tyre." "That's a good idea," the other girls say. "We will tell him that." They arrive at school an hour later. The test is finished. "Why are you late?" the teacher asks. "You missed the test." "Our taxi has a flat tyre," one of the girls says. The teacher thinks for a moment, then he says, "Sit down." The girls do this . Then the teacher says, "Write on a piece of paper the answer to this question: Which tyre is flat?" what a difficult question ! The girls look at each other sadly. At last they give the different answers.一个困难的问题 四个女孩每天都乘出租汽车上学。 一天，其中一个女孩说，“今天早晨有一个测验，让我们晚点去学校。 那么，我们将可以不用测验了”。 “那我们怎样告诉教师呢？” 其中一个女孩问。 “他一定会很生气的。 我们需要一个借口。” 女孩想了几分钟，然后说，“我们就告诉他，我们的出租汽车的一个轮胎瘪了”。 “真是一个好主意”，其它女孩高兴地说。 一个小时以后，他们到达了学校。 测验已经结束了。 “为什么你们迟到了？” 教师问。 “你们错过了测验”。 “我们的出租汽车的一个轮胎瘪了”，其中一个女孩说。 教师想想了一会儿，然后说，“坐下”。 女孩照着做了。 然后，教师说，“请你们回答这个问题，并把答案写在纸上，那就是哪一个轮胎是瘪的？” 这是一个多么困难的问题啊！ 女孩悲伤地互相看着。当然啦，结果不说大家也知道，同一个问题，他们竟给了四个不同的答案。
《farewell my concubine》——再见了，我的小老婆 （这可是《霸王别姬》的英文译名啊。） 《seventeen years》——十七年（故弄玄虚，《回家过年》） 《ashes of time》——时间的灰烬（《东邪西毒》，这个译名意味深长，无论你是东邪还是西毒，武功再高还不是最后都成了时间的灰烬？） 《all men are brothers: blood of the leopard》--四海之内皆兄弟：豹子的血（《水浒传》，《水浒传》有个英文译名就是《四海之内皆兄弟》）
英语的逸闻趣事
※声音如clear的意思一样清亮，得到了男女的广泛支持。超高的安定感、表现力、具有魅力的音质以及绝赞的实力而闻名的唱见。※爱称之一是「会长」。“clear”的日语发音和栗子相同，所以又有一昵称叫「烧栗」。「dear」也是 clear用过的名字 就是将“d”拆成 了“c”和“l”（原因是 为了不让大家认出来 某次生放的时候自己解释过 ）※同另一位nico唱见nero是幼驯染（青梅竹马），从国中开始相识，在东京也曾居住在同一公寓。nero是在在clear的长期拉动和酒的影响下进入nico，在2010年1月30日投稿的初合唱的《カンタレラ》已经再生破百万。※和nero结成cleanero。两人翻唱同步率很高，tag上常有「美声双子」「奇迹的幼驯染」。由于clear在生足同好会就任会长，所以nero也在推特上自称是副会长。※2009年5月18日投稿了与蛇足合唱的「magnet」，由此衍生出了「蛇栗」（だそくりあ）这个CP再生数已破百万。2009年06月18日和バルシェ、蛇足一起以蛇足×バルシェ×Clear的组合投稿了「IMITATIONBLACK」又衍生出「バそくりあ」组合。※与蛇足、amu、みーちゃん、あさまる组成PointFive(.5)发售了五张专辑、将于2014年发售LIVECD。※clear常用的颜文字符号是(｡･ω･｡)ﾉはぉ♪，曾被ぽこた等人拿来吐槽过，后来这个颜文字发展成.+()ｸﾙｯ()ｸﾙｯ(ω･｡)ｸﾙｯ(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ~~おはぉ♪，每次他出现都会被fans的颜文字弹幕淹没。说到谜样的文字，他还用过cぇあr；某次他在友人的放送上打错字，将clear打成cぇあr，这称呼就此沿用下来。※clear十分喜欢傲娇，曾经被问过是抖S还是抖M的时候回答是抖S，经常会在自己的放送出现某些卑猥发言，fans便开始无视他，这个人马上S气场全开的说要关闭放送，弹幕瞬间出现许多「会长爱してる(会长我爱你)」「会长ごめんね(会长对不起啦)」等等的谢罪留言，因此clear也有卑猥王子的称号。生歌大部份是以V家曲为主，也会有洋乐，虽然自称英语不好但是唱英文歌却很好听。※最近clear在勤劳地练习吉他、最近开的生放窗主要以吉他弹唱练习为主。
美国《时代》杂志最近评出了2007年度十大奇闻，有人4岁时就被铅笔插入脑，59岁才取出，有政府用公款为女兵隆胸，也有人参加喝水比赛被尿憋死，蟾蜍分泌的液体竟可当毒品吸食。回顾这一年，让人觉得，世界真是无奇不有。翻译："Time" magazine recently selected the 2007 Top Ten something, it was 4 years old when it was a pencil inserted into the brain, 59-year-old was taken out of government use of public funds for female breast, it was to participate in drinking games to death by urine, toad secretion can be when the liquid has drugs. Looking back on the past, people feel that the world is really strange there.
17.Mr Brown's Four Umbrellas布朗先生的四把伞Mr Brown worked in a factory of a small town. He had been there for twenty years before one day he was sent to the capital for important business. He was quite excited because he had never been there before. Before he set off. he asked his wife and three daughters if they wanted him to buy something for them in London. Mrs brown began to think it over and then she said she wished her husband would be able to buy a nice umbrella for her, and so did their three daughters. As he was afraid he would forget it, he drew an umbrella on his hand. To his regret, he lost it at the station. On the train Mr Brown sat opposite to an old woman, The woman's umbrella was so nice that he carefully looked at it and said to himself not to forget to buy a few umbrellas like it. When the train arrived at the station in London, he said good-bye to the old woman, took his bag and her umbrella and was going to get off. “Wait a minute, sir,”shouted the old woman.“That's my umbrella!” Now Mr Brown noticed that he had taken her umbrella. His face turned red at once and said in a hurry,“Oh, I'm very sorry. madam! I didn't mean it!” Seven days later Mr Brown left the capital. To his surprise, he met the old woman and sat oppsite to her again. Looking at the four umbrellas, the old woman was satisfied with herself.“It seems that I was luckier than the other four women.”She thought.18. Can I Help You, Madam?您买什么，夫人？A woman in blue jeans stood at the window of an expensive shop. Though she hesitated for a moment, she finally went in and asked to see a dress that was in the window. The assistant who served her did not like the way she was dressed. Glancing at her scornfully, he told her that the dress was sold. The woman walked out of the shop angrily and decided to punish the assistant next day. She returned to the shop the following morning dressed in a fur-coat with a handbag in one hand and a long umbrella in the other. After seeking out the rude assistant she asked for the same dress. Not realizing who she was, the assistant was eager to serve her this time. With great difficulty, he climbed into the shop window to get the dress. As soon as she saw it, the woman said she did not like it. She enjoyed herself making the assistant bring almost everything in the window before finally buying the dress she had first asked for.19. A Telephone Call打来电话At about two o'clock on a cold winter morning, a doctor drove seven miles in answer to a telephone call. On his coming the man who had called him in said: “Doctor, I don't have a sore throat, I don't cough, I have no pain either in the side or in the back, I'm not running a temperature, but still I feel that death is near.” The doctor felt the man's pulse, listened to his heart and lungs and examined his throat. “Have you made your will?”he asked at last. “Why, no doctor. Oh, doctor, it isn't true, is it? I can't believe it.” “Do you have children? Send for them at once. Your father, too, should be called; also your----” “I say, doctor, do you really think I'm going to die?” The doctor looked at him hard. “No, I don't,”he replied.“There's nothing the matter with you. But I hate to be the only man you've made a fool of on a night like this.”20.The Friends'“Help”朋友相帮Mr Brown's horse was stolen at night. All of his friends were very sorry about it and came to see him together. After they had been told about it, one of them said,“Why didn't you lock the door of your stable last night? I think that it had something to do with your horse being stolen. “You aren't a deaf man,”the second complained.“Didn't you hear anything at that mement? The thief must have driven the beast away out of the gate, and couldn't have carried it away on his back!” “I agree with them,”blamed the third.“How careless you are! Every evening, before I go to bed, I lock my stable first and hide the key in my box. Why didn't you do so?” The more they said, the more excited they became. At last Mr Brown couldn't bear any more and said angrily,“I'm glad that you have come to see me. But none of you would help me either look for my horse or catch the thief. Do you think that it's all my fault? Why don't you blame the thief?”21.Getting Information and Direction问路Last week Bill had to go to New York. It was his first time there, and he didn't know his way around the city. He had a meeting at 10 o'clock, and he wanted to be on time. The meeting was in the Peterson Building on 34th Street, but Bill didn't know where that was. Seeing two men standing on a corner he asked them for directions. “Pardon me,”he said,“but can you tell me how to get to the Peterson Building on 34th Street?” “Sure,”answered one of the men.“You can get there in five minutes. Go to the next corner and turn left. Walk three blocks and there you are.” But the other man said,“There's a better way. Get on the bus here at this corner. It stops right near the Peters Building.” “Not Peters,”Bill told him.“Peterson.” Then the first man said,“Oh, that's on east 34th Street, not west 34th. It's quite a distance from here. You'll have to take the subway.” But the second man told Bill,“No, don't go by subway. Take the crosstown bus. It goes to the Peters in Building.” “Peterson. Not Petersin.”.Bill looked at hiswatch.It was almost ten o'clock.“Thanks a lot,”he said.“I think I'll take a taxi.” As he got into the taxi he saw the two men arguing and pointing in different directions. Next time he wanted to know how to get to a place, he'd ask a police man!22． You're Right你说对了Once Mr Henry went to a small town with high mountains all around it. It was a quiet and cool place and some rich people liked to go there for their holidays. A week later, before Mr Henry left the town, he paid thirty p
英语趣闻时事新闻
The United Nations climate talks on Saturday agreed on some major principles in Warsaw for a new global climate pact due to be agreed on in 2015 and enter into force after 2020.As the two-week-long negotiations were approaching the 18th hour of extra time, it was agreed that all countries should prepare "intended nationally determined contributions" to help cut carbon emissions.The agreement was seen as a key step paving the way for all countries to reach an ambitious global climate pact in 2015, and a sign of their desire to avert a breakdown of the climate talks.一百字的新闻，真难找，大概就这样了
As food is to the body, so is learning to the mind. Our bodies grow and muscles develop with the intake of adequate nutritious food. Likewise, we should keep learning day by day to maintain our keen mental power and expand our intellectual capacity. Constant learning supplies us with inexhaustible fuel for driving us to sharpen our power of reasoning, analysis, and judgment. Learning incessantly is the surest way to keep pace with the times in the information age, and an infallible warrant of success in times of uncertainty. Once learning stops, vegetation sets in. It is a common fallacy to regard school as the only workshop for the acquisition of knowledge. On the contrary, learning should be a never-ending process, from the cradle to the grave. With the world ever changing so fast, the cease from learning for just a few days will make a person lag behind. What's worse, the animalistic instinct dormant deep in our subconsciousness will come to life, weakening our will to pursue our noble ideal, sapping our determination to sweep away obstacles to our success and strangling our desire for the refinement of our character. Lack of learning will inevitably lead to the stagnation of the mind, or even worse, its fossilization, Therefore, to stay mentally young, we have to take learning as a lifelong career. 学习之于心灵，就像食物之于身体一样。摄取了适量的营养食物，我们的身体得以生长而肌肉得以发达。同样地，我们应该日复一日不断地学习以保持我们敏锐的心智能力，并扩充我们的智力容量。不断的学习提供我们用不尽的燃料，来驱使我们磨利我们的推理、分析和判断的能力。持续的学习是在信息时代中跟时代并驾齐驱的最稳当的方法，也是在变动的世代中成功的可靠保证。 一旦学习停止，单调贫乏的生活就开始了。视学校为汲取知识的唯一场所是种常见的谬误。相反地，学习应该是一种无终止的历程，从生到死。由于世界一直快速地在变动，只要学习停顿数日就将使人落后。更糟的是，蛰伏在我们潜意识深处的兽性本能就会复活，削弱我们追求高贵理想的意志，弱化我们扫除成功障碍的决心，而且扼杀我们净化我们人格的欲望。缺少学习将不可避免地导致心灵的停滞，甚至更糟地，使其僵化。因此，为了保持心理年轻，我们必须将学习当作一生的事业。 2．heavy schoolwork【课业繁重】 In my opinion, the schoolwork now being assigned to high school students is too heavy. While it is true that students need to study, they need other things as well if they are to grow into healthy and well-rounded adults. High should be allowed more time for play. Playing is not wasting time, as some think. It gives them physical exercise, and also exercise their imagination. Which tends to be stifled by too much study. Finally, the pressure put on high school students by excessive schoolwork can cause serious stress, which is unhealthy physically and mentally. I do not advocate the elimination of schoolwork. I do think, however, that a reduction of the current heavy load would be beneficial to students and to the society as a whole. 我认为目前高中生的课业实在太重了，虽然说学生的确应当念书，但是要想长大成为健全的人，他门还需要一些其它的东西，所以应该给高中生较多从事娱乐的时间。娱乐并不如某些人所想的，是在浪费时间，它可以让学生锻炼身体，发挥被繁重课业扼杀的想象力。此外，繁重的课业加诸在高中生身上的压力可能引起严重的情绪紧张，这对身心都有害。我并非主张废除学校课业，但是我认为减轻目前繁重的课业对于学生和整个社会都是有益的。 3．Time【时间】 Lost time is never found again. This is something which I learned very clearly last semester. I spent so much time fooling around that my grades began to suffer. I finally realized that something had to be done. It was time for a change. Now I have a new plan for using my time wisely. I have set my alarm clock ahead half an hour. This will give me a head start on the day. I have also decided to keep a log of what I do and when I do it. Looking back on what I’ve done will give me some ideas on how to reorganize my time. 时光一去不复返，这是我上学期清楚学到的教训。我浪费很多时间四处游荡，以致于我的成绩开始退步。最后我终于了解到我必须有所作为；该是痛改前非的时候了。 现在我有一个明智运用时间的新方法。我已将闹钟早拨半小时，这将使我这一天的作息提前开始。我也决定将我所做的一切及做这些事的时间记录下来。回顾我所做的事情会启发我如何重新安排我的时间。 4．Work and Play【工作与娱乐】 Work and play do not contradict each other; in fact, they complement each other. As the saying goes, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." A life burdened with work leads you nowhere, for you would get tired and bored with your daily routine work. On the other hand, proper recreation will relieve the tension and discomfort of our monotonous life because it offers you various ways to let out your pent-up emotions. What I usually do to relax after school is jogging and seeing movies. Usually I don't spare time for exercise, but I value the physical education class at school. Jogging several rounds in the field certainly relieves the day's pressure. On weekends, I'll catch the morning movie for my visual enjoyment. I feel revived and energetic for another week's work-load. 工作与娱乐并不互相冲突，事实上，它们之间的关系还相辅相成。有句格言说：「整日工作而没有休闲娱乐，会令人变得沉闷乏味。」被工作重担压得喘不过气来的生活，将使你一事无成，因为你将对一成不变的例行公事感到厌烦。由另一方面来说，适度的娱乐活动能提供各种管道，来渲泄你被压抑的情绪，减轻单调生活中的紧张与不悦。 放学之后，我最常做的休闲活动，便是慢跑与看电影。通常我并不特地拨出时间来做运动，但是我很重视学校的体育课。在操场上慢跑几圈，无疑地可以减轻一天的压力。在周末时，我都去看早场电影，享受视觉飨宴。如此一来，我将有如再生般的充沛活力，去面对下一星期的工作量。 5．My first Job【我的第一份工作】 My first job was at a cramming school. It was three years ago when I just graduated from junior high school and finished the entrance examination. since I had nothing to do that summer, I decided to find a job, tasting the joy of independence. I was responsible for answering the telephone and taking the message. I worked eight hours a day, six days a week. The work was not difficult nor heavy to me and I guess I did well. The most delighted thing was perhaps that I could spend the money I earned all by myself. 我的第一份工作是在一家补习班做事。那是三年前我刚从国中毕业，考完联考时的事了。既然我那整个夏天都闲着没事，倒不如找份差事，尝尝独立赚钱的快乐。 我负责接听电话且纪录留言的工作。我一天工作八小时，一星期工作六天。那份工作对我而言既不困难亦不沉重，所以我想我还满称职的。而最令人快乐的事大概莫过于花全部由自己赚来的钱了！ 6．My Favorite Sports【我最喜爱的运动】 Sports help everyone to keep healthy, happy, and efficient. So I pay special attention to games, especially table-tennis. Table tennis is my favorite game. I play it almost every day. Table-tennis is an ideal game us because it brings the whole body into action. It strengthens our muscles, expands our lungs, promotes the circulation of the blood, and causes a healthy action of the skin. Besides, it is very amusing and does not cost us much money. Table-tennis is very moderate; it is not so rough as football. It is an indoor game and can be played even on rainy days. Thus, it is my favorite kind of exercise. 运动能帮助每一个人保持健康、快乐和有效率。所以我特别重视运动，特别是桌球，桌球是我最喜欢的运动。我几乎每天玩。 桌球对我们而言，是一项理想的运动，因为它可以使我们全身运动，它可以增强我们的肌肉，扩张我们的肺部，促进血液循环，并且使肌肤产生健康作用，此外，它很有趣而且所费不多。桌球是相当温和适中的，它不像足球那么粗野。它是一种室内运动，甚至在下雨天也能玩。因此，桌球是我最喜爱的一种运动。 希望能对你有所帮助～～：） Fox and cock One morning a fox sees a cock.He think,"This is my breakfast.'' He comes up to the cock and says,"I know you can sing very well.Can you sing for me?''The cock is glad.He closes his eyes and begins to sing.The fox sees that and caches him in his mouth and carries him away. The people in the field see the fox.They cry,"Look,look!The fox is carrying the cock away.''The cock says to the fox,"Mr Fox,do you understand?The people say you are carrying their cock away.Tell them it is yours.Not theirs.'' The fox opens his mouth ang says,"The cock is mine,not yours.''Just then the cock runs away from the fox and flies into the tree. 狐狸和公鸡 一天早上，一只狐狸看到了一只公鸡。他想：这是我的早餐。 他朝公鸡走来，对他说：“我知道，你能唱得非常好听，你能唱给我听么？”公鸡很高兴。他闭上眼睛开始唱歌。狐狸看到这些抓住它放到自己的嘴里走了。 在田地里的人们看到了狐狸。大喊大叫：“看，看！狐狸抓住公鸡逃走了。”公鸡对狐狸说：“狐狸先生，你能理解么？人们认为你叼走了公鸡。告诉他们这是你的，不是他们的。” 狐狸张开她的嘴说：“公鸡是我的，不是你们的。”就在那时，。公鸡跑到了树底下。
英语时事短篇新闻：
When the earthquake occurred in Japan, 130 kilometers northeast of Fukushima Prefecture, a huge tsunami was formed due to the earthquake, and it invaded the port at a very fast speed.
Hundreds of people died. The earthquake is the strongest in Japan in more than 100 years, causing huge losses.
日本地震发生的时候，距离福岛县东北方向130公里处的海上，因地震而形成了巨大海啸，并以极快的速度向港口侵袭。
数百人丧生。这次地震是日本100多年来最强烈的一次地震，造成了巨大的损失。
重点词汇：
海上：at sea ; on the sea ; seaborne。
海啸：bore ; tidal wave ; seismic sea wave ; seaquake。
侵袭：make inroads on ; invade and attack ; smite ; hit。
数百：hundreds of ; several hundred ; people lost their jobs。
丧生：meet one's death ; lose one's life ; get killed。
多年来：over the years ; for years ; through the years。
以上内容参考 百度百科-日本地震
