摘要：
简单易懂的英语搞笑小故事1.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇一The miser and his gold Once upon a time there was a miser。... 简单易懂的英语搞笑小故事
1.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇一
The miser and his gold Once upon a time there was a miser。 He hid his gold under a tree。 Every week he used to dig it up。
One night a robber stole all the gold。 When the miser came again， he found nothing but an empty hole。
He was surprised， and then burst into tears。All the neighbors gathered around him。
He told them how he used to e and visit his gold。
"Did you ever take any of it out?" asked one of them。 "No，" he said， "I only came to look at it。" "Then e again and look at the hole，" said the neighbor， "it will be the same as looking at the gold。"
守财奴
从前，有个守财奴将他的金块埋到一棵树下，每周他都去把他挖出来看看。
一天晚上，一个小偷挖走了所有的金块。 守财奴再来查看时，发现除了一个空洞什么都没有了。
守财奴便捶胸痛哭。哭声引来了邻居他告诉他们那里原先有他的金块。
问明了原因后，一个邻居问：“你使用过这些金块吗?” “没用过，” 他说，“我只是时常来看看。”“那么，以后再来看这个洞，”邻居说，“就像以前有金块时一样。”
2.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇二
bat falling upon the ground was caught by a weasel, ofwhom he earnestly besought his life. the weasel refused,saying, that he was by nature the enemy of all birds. thebat assured him that he was not a bird, but a mouse, andthus saved his life.
shortly afterwards the bat again fellon the ground, and was carght by another weasel, whom helikewise entreated not to eat him. the weasel said that hehad a special hostility to mice. the bat assured him thathe was not a mouse, but a bat; and thus a second is wise to turn circumstances to good account.
一只蝙蝠坠落到地面上来，被一只鼠狼捉住了，蝙蝠哀求讨饶。鼠狼不答应，说它自己最爱和鸟类为敌。蝙蝠便证明它自己不是鸟，只是一只老鼠，因此鼠狼就放了它。
不久这只蝙蝠又坠落到地上来，被另一只鼠狼捉住，它同样地哀求讨饶。那鼠狼说它自己最恨老鼠，蝙蝠证明自己并不是老鼠，而是一只蝙蝠;因此，它第二次又安然地逃离危险了。随机应变乃聪明之举。
3.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇三
A RAVEN saw a Swan and desired to secure for himself the same beautiful plumage. Supposing that the Swan's splendid white color arose from his washing in the water in which he swam, the Raven left the altars in the neighborhood where he picked up his living, and took up residence in the lakes and pools.
But cleansing his feathers as often as he would, he could not change their color, while through want of food he perished.
乌鸦非常羡慕天鹅洁白的羽毛。
他猜想天鹅一定是经常洗澡，羽毛才变得如此洁白无 瑕。于是，他毅然离开了他赖以生存的祭坛，来到江湖边。
他天天洗刷自己的羽毛，不但一 点都没洗白，反而因缺少食物饥饿而死。
4.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇四
Mike is a little boy. He is only five years old. He is too small to go to school. So he can not read and write.
One day he stood at my desk with a pencil in his hand. There was a big piece of paper on the desk. He wanted to draw a picture of himself. He drew lines and cleared them out, then drew more and cleared them out again. When I looked at the picture, he wasn't happy. "Well," he said at last to me, "I'll put a tail on it and make it a monkey."
He began to add the tail. I began to laugh.
翻译
迈克是一个小男孩,他只有5岁。他太小还没有上学,因此也不会读和写。
一天,他手里拿着一支铅笔站在我的桌子前。桌子上放着一张大纸,他要画自画像。他画了几笔就擦掉了,再画几笔,有擦掉了。当我看一幅画时,他很不高兴。 "好吧,"他最后和我说,"我就再加一条尾巴,把他画成一只猴子吧!"
他开始加上小尾巴,我大笑起来。
5.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇五
There was a sturdy ram with a pair of thick horns upright on its head.
It strutted about proudly and saw a fence built with bamboo and wood in front, which blocked its way. It cast a sidelong glance at the fence, lowered its neck and lunged at the fence, hoping to knock it down. The fence remained intact but the ram injured its own horns.
If it had not injured its horns, the ram would have persisted obstinately in butting against the fence, even against the spokes of a wheel until it bled with a fractured skull.
As a result, with its horns caught in the fence, the ram could neither advance nor retreat butbleat helplessly.
一头长得非常雄壮的公羊的头上，挺立着一对粗大的犄角。
公羊骄傲地踱着步，看见前面有一道竹木编成的篱笆挡住了它的去路。公羊斜着眼睛看看，便弯下脖子呼的一声撞上去，想把篱笆撞倒。结果篱笆纹丝不动，它反把自己的犄角碰伤了。
假如公羊没有碰伤犄角的话，那么它还会一个劲儿地撞下去，甚至向车轮的辐条上撞去，直到头破血流为止。
结果呢?公羊的犄角被篱笆夹住，进也不得，退也不得，只能“咩咩”不停地叫唤。
6.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇六
Making His Mark
A man from the state of Chu was taking a boat across a river when he dropped his sword into the water carelessly. Immediately he made a mark on the side of the boat where the sword dropped, hoping to find it later. When the boat stopped moving, he went into the water to search for his sword at the place where he had marked the boat. As we know, the boat had moved but the sword had not. Isnt this a very foolish way to look for a sword?
楚国有个人坐船渡江时，他不小心把自己的一把宝剑掉落江中。他马上掏出一把小刀，在宝剑落水的船舷上刻上一个记号。船靠岸后，那楚人立即从船上刻记号的地方跳下水去捞取掉落的宝剑。他怎么找得到宝剑呢?船继续行驶，而宝剑却不会再移动。像他这样去找剑，真是太愚蠢可笑了。
7.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇七
A little rabbit is picking mushrooms in a forest. A wolf is coming. He is very hungry. “Oh, a little rabbit! This is my favourite food!”
一只小兔子正在森林里采蘑菇，一只狼来了，他很饿。“哦，一只小兔子!这是我最喜欢的食物!”
The rabbit sees the wolf, but she is not afraid. She pretends to be poisoned by the mushrooms. The wolf thinks, “If I eat her, I will be poisoned, too.” So he goes away.
小兔子看见了狼，但是她并不害怕。她假装吃蘑菇中毒了。狼想到:“如果我吃了她，我也会中毒的。”所以他走开了。
Then the rabbit is very happy. She goes on picking the mushrooms.
小兔子非常高兴，她继续去采蘑菇。
8.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇八
Wolf and egret
The wolf mistake swallowed a piece of bone， very suffered， running about， look for to visit the doctor everywhere。He met the egret， and talk to settle the service fees to invite him to take out the bone， egret to stretch in the wolf's throat the own head， and the 叼 outs bone， then toward to settle the good service fees wolfThe wolf answer says:" hello， friend， you can since the wolf 嘴 take back the head in the peace ground， and the difficult way return the dissatisfied foot， and how and still speak the guerdon?"
This story elucidation， guerdon badly person act charitably， and is a bad person of cognition and does not speak the reputation's innate character。
狼与鹭鸶
狼误吞下了一块骨头，十分难受，四处奔走，寻访医生。他遇见了鹭鸶，谈定酬金请他取出骨头，鹭鸶把自我的头伸进狼的喉咙里，叼出了骨头，便向狼要定好的酬金。狼回答说：“喂，朋友，你能从狼嘴里平安无事地收回头来，难道还不满足，怎样还要讲报酬？”
这故事说明，对坏人行善的报酬，就是认识坏人不讲信用的本质。
9.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇九
Standing on the roof of a small goat and the Wolf
Kid standing on the roof and saw the Wolf walked through the bottom and then abuse him, and laughed at him. The Wolf said, "oh, buddy, scold me is not you, but your terrain. "
This story to illustrate, dili and cat often give a person the courage to fight against the strong.
翻译：站在屋顶的小山羊与狼
小山羊站在屋顶上，看见狼从底下走过，便谩骂他，嘲笑他。狼说道：“啊，伙计，骂我的不是你，而是你所处的地势。”
这故事说明，地利与天机常常给人勇气去与强者抗争。
10.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇十
The Crow and The Pitcher
A crow felt very thirsty. He looked for water everywhere. Finally, he found a pitcher.
But there was not a lot of water in the pitcher. His beak could not reach it. He tried again and again, but still could not touch the water.
When he was about to give up, an idea came to him. He took a pebble and dropped it into the pitcher.
Then he took another and dropped it in.
Gradually, the water rose, and the crow was able to drink the water.
口渴的乌鸦
一只乌鸦口渴了，到处找水喝。终于，他找到了一个大水罐。
然而，水罐里面的水并不多，他的尖嘴够不到水面，他试了一次又一次，都没有成功。
就在他想放弃的时候，他突然想到一个主意。乌鸦叼来了一块小石子投到水罐里，接着又叼了一块又一块石头放进去。
渐渐地，水面升高了。乌鸦高兴地喝到了水。
寓意：有些东西虽然看起来微不足道，但如果积少成多，便会带来很大变化。
英语 故事 会出现学生认识或是不认识的单词，而这个单词的重复不断出现，会加深同学们对单词的记忆。这种记忆不是死记硬背，而是在潜移默化中，让学生记住。这次我给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。
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英语幽默小故事1
Don't Pick Up the Money on the Ground
An economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.
Why not?
If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
别捡地上的钱
一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。
“为什么不捡?”
“假如那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。”
“该发明的都已经被发明出来了。”
英语幽默小故事2
The Less You Know, the More Money You Make
Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.
Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have
Knowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.
Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.
知识越少挣钱越多
定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
下面是对该定理的一个严格的数学证明：
假设一：知识就是力量(Power)。
假设二：时间就是金钱。
每个工程师都知道：功率(Power)= 。既然知识=力量，时间=金钱，我们有：知识= 。求解金钱表达式，我们得到：金钱= 。
因此，当知识趋于零时，无论你做了多少功，金钱趋于无穷大。
结论：知识越少，你挣得的金钱就越多。
英语幽默小故事3
They Should Be Playing at Night
A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing. The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to some frustration among the three. Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over to them. He introduces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he is with is blind! The aide thanks the three in appreciation for their patience for the blind golfers. The priest goes, "Oh no, all my life I've preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about the blind!" The therapist says, "I've been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, shame on me!" The economist says, "Oh no! They should be playing at night."
他们本该在晚上打球
神父、心理学家和经济学家三人结伴打高尔夫。前面的一组打球进度极其缓慢，这让三人大为恼火。他们开始抱怨，前面那组中的一人听到抱怨声后朝他们走了过来。他 自我介绍 说是前面那组球手们的助手，因为那组球手都是盲人。助手感谢他们三位耐心等待。神父听后忙说：“哦，不会吧?我一辈子都在祈祷同胞们过上更美好的生活，而我却在这里抱怨这些盲人!”心理学家也赶紧说：“我一生的信条是帮助别人，可是我却在这里抱怨这些盲人，我真惭愧!”这时只听经济学家说：“哦，别这样!他们本该在晚上打球的。”
英语幽默小故事4
A fellow pilot flying over the Midwest heard an air-traffic controller trying to contact an airliner for normal frequency change.“Flight 354，“said the controller，"contact Kansas City Center on frequency .“The request was repeated several times with no reply from the ，in exasperation the controller raised his voice."Flight 354，Simon says contact Kansas City Center on frequency .”The call was acknowledged with an emharrassed reply and prompt compliance.
一名飞行员在中西部上空听到地面指挥塔的指挥员在呼叫一民航调整其正常接收频率。"354航班，”指挥塔在呼叫，“请与堪萨斯市中心频率联系。”这一指令重复了几次之后，竟没得到任何回音。最后，指挥塔的指挥员显然是被激怒了，他大声地锐:"354航班，西蒙说速与135. 5预率联系。”这一声显然奏效，只听对方慌忙地做了回答并迅速服从了指挥。”
英语幽默小故事5
Even My Driver Can Answer that Question
A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give a series of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For the task, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highly technical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to the economist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I could deliver it myself." The economist found this idea intriguing and decided to switch places with him at his next lecture.
The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some one in the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had no idea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, and then replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."
甚至我的司机都能回答那个问题
一位著名的博弈论专家一获得克拉克奖便开始在东北部各个知名大学展开一系列讲座。为了完成这项任务，他租了一辆车并雇了一名司机载着他到处赶场。没有别的事可做的司机就坐在课堂里听专家那科技含量颇高的讲座。几场讲座下来，司机对这位经济学家说：“我听了这么多次你的讲座，我觉得我自己也能讲了。”经济学家觉得这个想法很有趣，于是决定下次作讲座时他们两个互换位置。
司机完美无瑕地完成了演讲。可是当讲座结束后，听众中有人问了他一个技术含量相当高的问题，他不知如何开口回答。司机沉思了一会，回答道：“这个问题太简单了，连我的司机都能回答。”
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下面是我整理的10个经典英语幽默 故事 ，欢迎大家阅读!
英语幽默故事1.
When I checked on to a hotel in my last visit to the ., the receptionist said: “ Do you want a room with a shower or a bath?”
Thinking of the money, I asked, “ What’s the difference?”
“Well, “ he said, “ with a shower, you have to stand up.”
英语幽默故事2.
A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. “ I feel terrible,” she said. “ I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seam of your trousers.”
“Forget it,” consoled her husband. “”Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”
“Yes,” said the woman, cheering up. “ And it’s lucky you have. I used them to patch the hole.
英语幽默故事3.
The new bank teller was given a package of dollar bills with the instruction to count them and see if there were a hundred. He counted up to fifty-eight and then threw the bundle down.
“ Why did you stop?” asked the bank manager
” If it’s right this far, said the teller, “ It’s probably right all the way.”
英语幽默故事4.
Landlady: An inventor once had this room. He invented an explosive.
New Lodger: Oh, I suppose those spots on the ceiling are the explosives.
L: No, that’s the inventor.
英语幽默故事5.
Plumber: I’m sorry I’m late, but I just couldn’t get here any sooner.
M: Well, no time’s been wasted. While we were waiting for you, I taught my wife how to swim.
英语幽默故事6.
M: There are two slices of pie in the cupboard this morning and now there’s only one. Can you explain that?
S: It was so dark, I didn’t see the other slice.
英语幽默故事7.
In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, the teacher asked one of the boys, “ What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?”
“ To be deaf,” replied the boy.”
“ Nonsense!” said the teacher angrily.
“ Why, sir! Don’t you know that the most famous musician Beethoven was deaf?” the boy asked in reply disdainfully.
英语幽默故事8.
A newspaper boy was selling newspapers in the street. He kept shouting at the top of his voice: “ Read all about it! A big swindling case! Eighty-two persons were swindled!” His curiosity aroused, a man went over and bought a copy. He searched through it and couldn’t find anything about the swindling case. Then he heard the newspaper boy shout: “ Read all about it! A big swindling case! Eighty-three persons were swindled!”
英语幽默故事9.
Five-year-old Tommy is fascinated by planes, and rushed outside every time he hears one to watch it until it becomes a speck in the distance. So when he finally had the chance to fly for the first time, he is pop-eyed with excitement. About ten minutes after take-off, he asks expectantly, “ When do we start to get smaller, Mummy?”
英语幽默故事10.
A man was told by his physician that he had only six months to live. “ Doc,” he said, “ is there anything I can do?”
“ Yes,” replied the doctor. “ First, give all your possessions to the poor. Next, move to a cold-water shack in the backwoods. And then marry a woman with nine young children.”
“ Will this give me more time?”
“ No-- but it’ll be the longest six months in your life!”
简单易懂的英语搞笑小短文
幽默的英语笑话短文（精选11篇）
在繁忙的学习工作中，适时读一些幽默笑话，放松自己，劳逸结合十分重要。下面是我整理的幽默的英语笑话短文（精选11篇），希望大家喜欢！
The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.
"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient,"For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist,or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."
The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price."Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.
The Brain Surgeon replied,"No,it’s not better,just unused."
一个外科医生正要作一个脑移植手术。
“你可以从两个脑子中选一个给你。”医生告诉病人，“一个心理学家的大脑1000美元，一个政治家的大脑10000美元。
病人很惊讶二者之间这样大的.差别，“政治家的大脑好一些吗?”他问。
医生说：“不是好一些，只是没有用过。”
Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.
Mum:There is no electricity tonight.
Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.
迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。
妈妈：今晚停电了。
迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。
The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes,dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么?”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate,a plump,middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind,lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her momentum carried her close to my I could help her,however,she had scrambled her composure,she winked at me and said,"Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?”
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?
-- 墓地守墓人。
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States,she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave the bank counter,the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more,uttering."Trust me,Sir,and trust the are real US are directly from America."
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
dear,I have lost my precious little dog!
you must put an advertisement in the papers!
's no use,my little dog can't read.
布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
—Waiter,this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, must have been in a fight.
-- Well,bring me the winner then.
-- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”
teacher:here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is who can tell us which is which?
student:i cannot point out but i know the answer.
teacher:please tell us.
student:the swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
民间笑话的根本功能在于引人发笑,在这个使人紧张而倍感压抑的商品经济时代,笑话成了抚慰人焦灼灵魂的一剂良药。下面是我带来的好笑的 英语笑话 小短文，欢迎阅读! 好笑的英语笑话小短文篇一 Fame and hardwork 名声与艰苦劳动 During the Gulf War，my sister，Jane，bought a flag and asked her apartment's maintenance man, a Vietnam vet，to install a pole for him. When she offered to pay him,he told her there was no way he could take money for putting up the American flag. 海湾战争期间，我妹妹珍妮买了一面美国国旗，她请房子的维修工—一位老兵给她竖一根旗杆。当我妹妹为此什给他钱时，他说，他帮助挂美国国旗，无论如何都不该收钱。 Jane contacted her local newspaper，and they published an article about the incident. The next time she encountered the maintenance man, he told her that everyone he knew had read her story and that she had made him a jokingly asked for his autograph. 珍妮来到当地报杜，就此事在报上发表了一篇 文章 。当珍妮第二次碰到那位维修工时，他对珍妮说他所认识的人都看了她写的报章，是她使他成为了名人。珍妮开玩笑地说让他给签个名。 "I don't have time,"the man replied. "I'm too busy setting up American flags.” 他回答说:“那我可没时间，挂美国国旗的事忙得我不可开交。” 好笑的英语笑话小短文篇二 Home alone 独自在家 My wife will go to any extreme to keep people from,knowing she is home alone. One evening when I was working late，my wife heard a knock on the door. She ignosed it,but the knocing continued. Frantic，sloe began to bark,softly at first，then louder and louder. Much to her relief,the knocking soon stopped. 我妻子独自在家时，总是不想让别人知道家里没有其他的人。一天晚上，我工作到很晚。我妻子听到有人敲门，她就没理，但敲门的声音总是不停，慌乱之中，她开始学狗叫。一开始她低声地叫，随后她的叫声越来越大。敲门声很快地停了，她这才松了口气。 The next day the paper boy came to the door to collect."I came by last night,"he told me,"but I left when your wife barked at me!" 第二天，送报的小孩来我家收钱，那小孩告诉我:“我昨晚上就来了，你老婆老冲我学狗叫，我就走了。” 好笑的英语笑话小短文篇三 Peter decides the grade 彼得的长相决定了分数 One semester when my brother, Peter，attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis，an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portait for a . Peter agreed，and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus. 我兄弟彼得在明尼阿波利斯的明尼索达大学上学时，有一个学期，他的一位学艺术的朋友问他是否可以用他做 素描 的模特作为课堂作业。彼得同意了。那位艺术生画完了，就把肖像交给了老师。他只得了一个C-. The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.”The head is too big，”the professor explained.”The shoulders are too wide， and the feet are enormous." 那位艺术生找到教授问为什么他的分数这么低。教授告诉他肖像中的比例失调，教授说:“脑袋太大，肩太宽，脚也过于大了。” The next day,the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one Look at my brother."Okay, A minus. "he said. 第二天，那位艺术生带彼得见教授，教授看了我兄弟一眼，并说:“好，可以得A-。” 好笑的英语笑话小短文篇四 Being considerate 善解人意 I had iust learned to drive and, like most teen-agers，begged at every opportunity to take over the wheel. During a family vacation my father finally allowed me drive on a long，straight stretch on was in my glory until there was a sudden turn in the unaware, I swung too wide and ran into a service station's advertising sign. I stopped the cat and waited for a lecture. 像大多数的青少年一样，我刚学会开车时，总想利用一切开车的机会。有一次家庭外出度假时，我经过请求，爸爸终于允许我在笔直的高速公路止驾驶。我感到十分荣幸，直到开到了一个急转弯，由于转盘转动得太大，车直奔着加油站的 广告 牌冲去。我停下了车，等着挨训。 My father，always considerate of his children's feelings，turned back to the rest of family and said. "As long as we're here,does anyone need to use the rest room?" 我的父亲总是考虑到孩子哟情绪，转过身对家里的其他人说:“既然我们已经把车开到了这儿，有人想上厕所吗?” 看了“好笑的英语笑话小短文”的人还看了： 1. 英语爆笑短文 2. 超级搞笑英语笑话小短文 3. 经典英语笑话小短文精选 4. 英语版笑话 5. 经典爆笑英文小笑话阅读
笑话是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环,从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。我整理了英语搞笑小短文带翻译，欢迎阅读!
Two social workers were walking through a rough part of the city in the evening.
有两名社会工作者在晚上的时候走过市区的简陋地方。
They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back investigation,
他们听到从后巷传来的求救呻吟声和很小的哭喊声。经调查，
they found a semiconscious man in a pool of blood.
他们发现有一个意识不清的人躺在血泊之中。
"Help me,I've been mugged and viciously beaten ." he pleaded.
他在恳求说：“救救我吧，我被人行凶抢劫，还遭到恶意痛打一顿。”
The two social workers turned and walked away .
这两名社会工作者转身离去。
One remarked to her colleague: " You know the person that did this really needs help."
其中一位向她的同事说：“你知道吧，做这件事的人才是真正需要协助呀。”
A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital ER.
有一名男子患有心脏病，被送往医院急诊室。
The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away.
医生告诉他，除非他立刻接受心脏移植，否则他就活不成。
Another doctor runs into the room and says,
另外一名，医生跑进急诊室说：
"you are in luck,two hearts just became avaible ,so you will get to choose which one you belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker."
“你真幸运，刚好有两个心脏可移植，所以你要选择你要哪一个心脏。一个是属于律师，另一个是属于社会工作者。”
The man quickly responds,"the attorney's ."
这名男子很快响应说：“律师的。”
The doctor says,"Wait!Don't you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?"
医生说：“等等!你不想在你做决定之前了解一下他们吗?”
The man says,"I already know all know that social workers are bleeding hearts and the attorney's probably never used his .So I will take attorney's!"
这名男子说：“我已经知道够了。大家都知道社会工作者都是流血的(有同情心的)心脏，而律师的心脏可能从来都不曾用过他的。所以我选择律师的心脏。"
Helen was on her deathbed ,
海伦躺在她临终的病床上奄奄一息。
with her husband Jack at her side.
她的丈夫陪在她的身旁。
He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his face.
他握着她冰冷的手，泪水静静地从他的脸上流下来。
Her pale lip moved. "Jack," she said,"
她苍白的嘴唇颤动着。她说：“杰克，”
Hush," he quickly interrupted, "Don't talk."
他很快就打断说：“嘘，不要说话。”
But she insisted,"Jack,"she said in her tired voice.
但是她坚持要说，她以疲惫的声音说：
"I have to must confess.”
“杰克，我一定要说。我必须向你坦白。”
"There is nothing to confess,"said the weeping Jack.
满脸泪水的杰克说：“没什么好坦白的。
"It's all 's all right."
没关系。一切都没事。”
"No,No!I must die in must confess,Jake ,that I have been unfaithful to you."
“不，不，我必须死得安心。我一定要坦白我对你不忠;红杏出墙。”
Jack stroked her hand .
杰克抚摸着她的手。
"Now ,Helen,don't be know all about it," he sobbed.
他啜泣着说：“海伦 ，现在你不要担心了。我全部都知道了。
"Why else would I poison you ?"
不然我为什么要毒死你呀?"
搞笑英语小故事简单的
英语 故事 会出现学生认识或是不认识的单词，而这个单词的重复不断出现，会加深同学们对单词的记忆。这种记忆不是死记硬背，而是在潜移默化中，让学生记住。这次我给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。
更多故事相关内容推荐↓↓↓
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★中外著名儿童故事★
英语幽默小故事1
Don't Pick Up the Money on the Ground
An economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.
Why not?
If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
别捡地上的钱
一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。
“为什么不捡?”
“假如那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。”
“该发明的都已经被发明出来了。”
英语幽默小故事2
The Less You Know, the More Money You Make
Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.
Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have
Knowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.
Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.
知识越少挣钱越多
定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
下面是对该定理的一个严格的数学证明：
假设一：知识就是力量(Power)。
假设二：时间就是金钱。
每个工程师都知道：功率(Power)= 。既然知识=力量，时间=金钱，我们有：知识= 。求解金钱表达式，我们得到：金钱= 。
因此，当知识趋于零时，无论你做了多少功，金钱趋于无穷大。
结论：知识越少，你挣得的金钱就越多。
英语幽默小故事3
They Should Be Playing at Night
A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing. The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to some frustration among the three. Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over to them. He introduces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he is with is blind! The aide thanks the three in appreciation for their patience for the blind golfers. The priest goes, "Oh no, all my life I've preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about the blind!" The therapist says, "I've been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, shame on me!" The economist says, "Oh no! They should be playing at night."
他们本该在晚上打球
神父、心理学家和经济学家三人结伴打高尔夫。前面的一组打球进度极其缓慢，这让三人大为恼火。他们开始抱怨，前面那组中的一人听到抱怨声后朝他们走了过来。他 自我介绍 说是前面那组球手们的助手，因为那组球手都是盲人。助手感谢他们三位耐心等待。神父听后忙说：“哦，不会吧?我一辈子都在祈祷同胞们过上更美好的生活，而我却在这里抱怨这些盲人!”心理学家也赶紧说：“我一生的信条是帮助别人，可是我却在这里抱怨这些盲人，我真惭愧!”这时只听经济学家说：“哦，别这样!他们本该在晚上打球的。”
英语幽默小故事4
A fellow pilot flying over the Midwest heard an air-traffic controller trying to contact an airliner for normal frequency change.“Flight 354，“said the controller，"contact Kansas City Center on frequency .“The request was repeated several times with no reply from the ，in exasperation the controller raised his voice."Flight 354，Simon says contact Kansas City Center on frequency .”The call was acknowledged with an emharrassed reply and prompt compliance.
一名飞行员在中西部上空听到地面指挥塔的指挥员在呼叫一民航调整其正常接收频率。"354航班，”指挥塔在呼叫，“请与堪萨斯市中心频率联系。”这一指令重复了几次之后，竟没得到任何回音。最后，指挥塔的指挥员显然是被激怒了，他大声地锐:"354航班，西蒙说速与135. 5预率联系。”这一声显然奏效，只听对方慌忙地做了回答并迅速服从了指挥。”
英语幽默小故事5
Even My Driver Can Answer that Question
A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give a series of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For the task, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highly technical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to the economist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I could deliver it myself." The economist found this idea intriguing and decided to switch places with him at his next lecture.
The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some one in the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had no idea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, and then replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."
甚至我的司机都能回答那个问题
一位著名的博弈论专家一获得克拉克奖便开始在东北部各个知名大学展开一系列讲座。为了完成这项任务，他租了一辆车并雇了一名司机载着他到处赶场。没有别的事可做的司机就坐在课堂里听专家那科技含量颇高的讲座。几场讲座下来，司机对这位经济学家说：“我听了这么多次你的讲座，我觉得我自己也能讲了。”经济学家觉得这个想法很有趣，于是决定下次作讲座时他们两个互换位置。
司机完美无瑕地完成了演讲。可是当讲座结束后，听众中有人问了他一个技术含量相当高的问题，他不知如何开口回答。司机沉思了一会，回答道：“这个问题太简单了，连我的司机都能回答。”
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1.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇一
The miser and his gold Once upon a time there was a miser。 He hid his gold under a tree。 Every week he used to dig it up。
One night a robber stole all the gold。 When the miser came again， he found nothing but an empty hole。
He was surprised， and then burst into tears。All the neighbors gathered around him。
He told them how he used to e and visit his gold。
"Did you ever take any of it out?" asked one of them。 "No，" he said， "I only came to look at it。" "Then e again and look at the hole，" said the neighbor， "it will be the same as looking at the gold。"
守财奴
从前，有个守财奴将他的金块埋到一棵树下，每周他都去把他挖出来看看。
一天晚上，一个小偷挖走了所有的金块。 守财奴再来查看时，发现除了一个空洞什么都没有了。
守财奴便捶胸痛哭。哭声引来了邻居他告诉他们那里原先有他的金块。
问明了原因后，一个邻居问：“你使用过这些金块吗?” “没用过，” 他说，“我只是时常来看看。”“那么，以后再来看这个洞，”邻居说，“就像以前有金块时一样。”
2.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇二
bat falling upon the ground was caught by a weasel, ofwhom he earnestly besought his life. the weasel refused,saying, that he was by nature the enemy of all birds. thebat assured him that he was not a bird, but a mouse, andthus saved his life.
shortly afterwards the bat again fellon the ground, and was carght by another weasel, whom helikewise entreated not to eat him. the weasel said that hehad a special hostility to mice. the bat assured him thathe was not a mouse, but a bat; and thus a second is wise to turn circumstances to good account.
一只蝙蝠坠落到地面上来，被一只鼠狼捉住了，蝙蝠哀求讨饶。鼠狼不答应，说它自己最爱和鸟类为敌。蝙蝠便证明它自己不是鸟，只是一只老鼠，因此鼠狼就放了它。
不久这只蝙蝠又坠落到地上来，被另一只鼠狼捉住，它同样地哀求讨饶。那鼠狼说它自己最恨老鼠，蝙蝠证明自己并不是老鼠，而是一只蝙蝠;因此，它第二次又安然地逃离危险了。随机应变乃聪明之举。
3.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇三
A RAVEN saw a Swan and desired to secure for himself the same beautiful plumage. Supposing that the Swan's splendid white color arose from his washing in the water in which he swam, the Raven left the altars in the neighborhood where he picked up his living, and took up residence in the lakes and pools.
But cleansing his feathers as often as he would, he could not change their color, while through want of food he perished.
乌鸦非常羡慕天鹅洁白的羽毛。
他猜想天鹅一定是经常洗澡，羽毛才变得如此洁白无 瑕。于是，他毅然离开了他赖以生存的祭坛，来到江湖边。
他天天洗刷自己的羽毛，不但一 点都没洗白，反而因缺少食物饥饿而死。
4.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇四
Mike is a little boy. He is only five years old. He is too small to go to school. So he can not read and write.
One day he stood at my desk with a pencil in his hand. There was a big piece of paper on the desk. He wanted to draw a picture of himself. He drew lines and cleared them out, then drew more and cleared them out again. When I looked at the picture, he wasn't happy. "Well," he said at last to me, "I'll put a tail on it and make it a monkey."
He began to add the tail. I began to laugh.
翻译
迈克是一个小男孩,他只有5岁。他太小还没有上学,因此也不会读和写。
一天,他手里拿着一支铅笔站在我的桌子前。桌子上放着一张大纸,他要画自画像。他画了几笔就擦掉了,再画几笔,有擦掉了。当我看一幅画时,他很不高兴。 "好吧,"他最后和我说,"我就再加一条尾巴,把他画成一只猴子吧!"
他开始加上小尾巴,我大笑起来。
5.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇五
There was a sturdy ram with a pair of thick horns upright on its head.
It strutted about proudly and saw a fence built with bamboo and wood in front, which blocked its way. It cast a sidelong glance at the fence, lowered its neck and lunged at the fence, hoping to knock it down. The fence remained intact but the ram injured its own horns.
If it had not injured its horns, the ram would have persisted obstinately in butting against the fence, even against the spokes of a wheel until it bled with a fractured skull.
As a result, with its horns caught in the fence, the ram could neither advance nor retreat butbleat helplessly.
一头长得非常雄壮的公羊的头上，挺立着一对粗大的犄角。
公羊骄傲地踱着步，看见前面有一道竹木编成的篱笆挡住了它的去路。公羊斜着眼睛看看，便弯下脖子呼的一声撞上去，想把篱笆撞倒。结果篱笆纹丝不动，它反把自己的犄角碰伤了。
假如公羊没有碰伤犄角的话，那么它还会一个劲儿地撞下去，甚至向车轮的辐条上撞去，直到头破血流为止。
结果呢?公羊的犄角被篱笆夹住，进也不得，退也不得，只能“咩咩”不停地叫唤。
6.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇六
Making His Mark
A man from the state of Chu was taking a boat across a river when he dropped his sword into the water carelessly. Immediately he made a mark on the side of the boat where the sword dropped, hoping to find it later. When the boat stopped moving, he went into the water to search for his sword at the place where he had marked the boat. As we know, the boat had moved but the sword had not. Isnt this a very foolish way to look for a sword?
楚国有个人坐船渡江时，他不小心把自己的一把宝剑掉落江中。他马上掏出一把小刀，在宝剑落水的船舷上刻上一个记号。船靠岸后，那楚人立即从船上刻记号的地方跳下水去捞取掉落的宝剑。他怎么找得到宝剑呢?船继续行驶，而宝剑却不会再移动。像他这样去找剑，真是太愚蠢可笑了。
7.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇七
A little rabbit is picking mushrooms in a forest. A wolf is coming. He is very hungry. “Oh, a little rabbit! This is my favourite food!”
一只小兔子正在森林里采蘑菇，一只狼来了，他很饿。“哦，一只小兔子!这是我最喜欢的食物!”
The rabbit sees the wolf, but she is not afraid. She pretends to be poisoned by the mushrooms. The wolf thinks, “If I eat her, I will be poisoned, too.” So he goes away.
小兔子看见了狼，但是她并不害怕。她假装吃蘑菇中毒了。狼想到:“如果我吃了她，我也会中毒的。”所以他走开了。
Then the rabbit is very happy. She goes on picking the mushrooms.
小兔子非常高兴，她继续去采蘑菇。
8.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇八
Wolf and egret
The wolf mistake swallowed a piece of bone， very suffered， running about， look for to visit the doctor everywhere。He met the egret， and talk to settle the service fees to invite him to take out the bone， egret to stretch in the wolf's throat the own head， and the 叼 outs bone， then toward to settle the good service fees wolfThe wolf answer says:" hello， friend， you can since the wolf 嘴 take back the head in the peace ground， and the difficult way return the dissatisfied foot， and how and still speak the guerdon?"
This story elucidation， guerdon badly person act charitably， and is a bad person of cognition and does not speak the reputation's innate character。
狼与鹭鸶
狼误吞下了一块骨头，十分难受，四处奔走，寻访医生。他遇见了鹭鸶，谈定酬金请他取出骨头，鹭鸶把自我的头伸进狼的喉咙里，叼出了骨头，便向狼要定好的酬金。狼回答说：“喂，朋友，你能从狼嘴里平安无事地收回头来，难道还不满足，怎样还要讲报酬？”
这故事说明，对坏人行善的报酬，就是认识坏人不讲信用的本质。
9.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇九
Standing on the roof of a small goat and the Wolf
Kid standing on the roof and saw the Wolf walked through the bottom and then abuse him, and laughed at him. The Wolf said, "oh, buddy, scold me is not you, but your terrain. "
This story to illustrate, dili and cat often give a person the courage to fight against the strong.
翻译：站在屋顶的小山羊与狼
小山羊站在屋顶上，看见狼从底下走过，便谩骂他，嘲笑他。狼说道：“啊，伙计，骂我的不是你，而是你所处的地势。”
这故事说明，地利与天机常常给人勇气去与强者抗争。
10.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇十
The Crow and The Pitcher
A crow felt very thirsty. He looked for water everywhere. Finally, he found a pitcher.
But there was not a lot of water in the pitcher. His beak could not reach it. He tried again and again, but still could not touch the water.
When he was about to give up, an idea came to him. He took a pebble and dropped it into the pitcher.
Then he took another and dropped it in.
Gradually, the water rose, and the crow was able to drink the water.
口渴的乌鸦
一只乌鸦口渴了，到处找水喝。终于，他找到了一个大水罐。
然而，水罐里面的水并不多，他的尖嘴够不到水面，他试了一次又一次，都没有成功。
就在他想放弃的时候，他突然想到一个主意。乌鸦叼来了一块小石子投到水罐里，接着又叼了一块又一块石头放进去。
渐渐地，水面升高了。乌鸦高兴地喝到了水。
寓意：有些东西虽然看起来微不足道，但如果积少成多，便会带来很大变化。
英语 故事 是英语教材中提升学生学习兴趣、展现学习要点的重要载体,是英语教学无法绕过的槛。我整理了幽默的英语小故事 ，欢迎阅读! 幽默的英语小故事篇一 名声与艰苦劳动 During the Gulf War，my sister，Jane，bought a flag and asked her apartment's maintenance man, a Vietnam vet，to install a pole for him. When she offered to pay him,he told her there was no way he could take money for putting up the American flag. 海湾战争期间，我妹妹珍妮买了一面美国国旗，她请房子的维修工—一位老兵给她竖一根旗杆。当我妹妹为此什给他钱时，他说，他帮助挂美国国旗，无论如何都不该收钱。 Jane contacted her local newspaper，and they published an article about the incident. The next time she encountered the maintenance man, he told her that everyone he knew had read her story and that she had made him a jokingly asked for his autograph. 珍妮来到当地报杜，就此事在报上发表了一篇 文章 。当珍妮第二次碰到那位维修工时，他对珍妮说他所认识的人都看了她写的报章，是她使他成为了名人。珍妮开玩笑地说让他给签个名。 "I don't have time,"the man replied. "I'm too busy setting up American flags.” 他回答说:“那我可没时间，挂美国国旗的事忙得我不可开交。” 幽默的英语小故事篇二 独自在家 My wife will go to any extreme to keep people from,knowing she is home alone. One evening when I was working late，my wife heard a knock on the door. She ignosed it,but the knocing continued. Frantic，sloe began to bark,softly at first，then louder and louder. Much to her relief,the knocking soon stopped. 我妻子独自在家时，总是不想让别人知道家里没有其他的人。一天晚上，我工作到很晚。我妻子听到有人敲门，她就没理，但敲门的声音总是不停，慌乱之中，她开始学狗叫。一开始她低声地叫，随后她的叫声越来越大。敲门声很快地停了，她这才松了口气。 The next day the paper boy came to the door to collect."I came by last night,"he told me,"but I left when your wife barked at me!" 第二天，送报的小孩来我家收钱，那小孩告诉我:“我昨晚上就来了，你老婆老冲我学狗叫，我就走了。” 幽默的英语小故事篇三 彼得的长相决定了分数 One semester when my brother, Peter，attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis，an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portait for a . Peter agreed，and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus. 我兄弟彼得在明尼阿波利斯的明尼索达大学上学时，有一个学期，他的一位学艺术的朋友问他是否可以用他做 素描 的模特作为课堂作业。彼得同意了。那位艺术生画完了，就把肖像交给了老师。他只得了一个C-. The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.”The head is too big，”the professor explained.”The shoulders are too wide， and the feet are enormous." 那位艺术生找到教授问为什么他的分数这么低。教授告诉他肖像中的比例失调，教授说:“脑袋太大，肩太宽，脚也过于大了。” The next day,the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one Look at my brother."Okay, A minus. "he said. 第二天，那位艺术生带彼得见教授，教授看了我兄弟一眼，并说:“好，可以得A-。” 看了“幽默的英语小故事 ”的人还看了： 1. 英语幽默小故事10篇 2. 幽默英语小故事16篇 3. 英语小故事3分钟幽默大全 4. 简单幽默英语小故事精选 5. 有趣搞笑的英语故事大全 6. 英语幽默小故事带翻译大全
英语小故事简单的搞笑
1.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇一
The miser and his gold Once upon a time there was a miser。 He hid his gold under a tree。 Every week he used to dig it up。
One night a robber stole all the gold。 When the miser came again， he found nothing but an empty hole。
He was surprised， and then burst into tears。All the neighbors gathered around him。
He told them how he used to e and visit his gold。
"Did you ever take any of it out?" asked one of them。 "No，" he said， "I only came to look at it。" "Then e again and look at the hole，" said the neighbor， "it will be the same as looking at the gold。"
守财奴
从前，有个守财奴将他的金块埋到一棵树下，每周他都去把他挖出来看看。
一天晚上，一个小偷挖走了所有的金块。 守财奴再来查看时，发现除了一个空洞什么都没有了。
守财奴便捶胸痛哭。哭声引来了邻居他告诉他们那里原先有他的金块。
问明了原因后，一个邻居问：“你使用过这些金块吗?” “没用过，” 他说，“我只是时常来看看。”“那么，以后再来看这个洞，”邻居说，“就像以前有金块时一样。”
2.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇二
bat falling upon the ground was caught by a weasel, ofwhom he earnestly besought his life. the weasel refused,saying, that he was by nature the enemy of all birds. thebat assured him that he was not a bird, but a mouse, andthus saved his life.
shortly afterwards the bat again fellon the ground, and was carght by another weasel, whom helikewise entreated not to eat him. the weasel said that hehad a special hostility to mice. the bat assured him thathe was not a mouse, but a bat; and thus a second is wise to turn circumstances to good account.
一只蝙蝠坠落到地面上来，被一只鼠狼捉住了，蝙蝠哀求讨饶。鼠狼不答应，说它自己最爱和鸟类为敌。蝙蝠便证明它自己不是鸟，只是一只老鼠，因此鼠狼就放了它。
不久这只蝙蝠又坠落到地上来，被另一只鼠狼捉住，它同样地哀求讨饶。那鼠狼说它自己最恨老鼠，蝙蝠证明自己并不是老鼠，而是一只蝙蝠;因此，它第二次又安然地逃离危险了。随机应变乃聪明之举。
3.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇三
A RAVEN saw a Swan and desired to secure for himself the same beautiful plumage. Supposing that the Swan's splendid white color arose from his washing in the water in which he swam, the Raven left the altars in the neighborhood where he picked up his living, and took up residence in the lakes and pools.
But cleansing his feathers as often as he would, he could not change their color, while through want of food he perished.
乌鸦非常羡慕天鹅洁白的羽毛。
他猜想天鹅一定是经常洗澡，羽毛才变得如此洁白无 瑕。于是，他毅然离开了他赖以生存的祭坛，来到江湖边。
他天天洗刷自己的羽毛，不但一 点都没洗白，反而因缺少食物饥饿而死。
4.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇四
Mike is a little boy. He is only five years old. He is too small to go to school. So he can not read and write.
One day he stood at my desk with a pencil in his hand. There was a big piece of paper on the desk. He wanted to draw a picture of himself. He drew lines and cleared them out, then drew more and cleared them out again. When I looked at the picture, he wasn't happy. "Well," he said at last to me, "I'll put a tail on it and make it a monkey."
He began to add the tail. I began to laugh.
翻译
迈克是一个小男孩,他只有5岁。他太小还没有上学,因此也不会读和写。
一天,他手里拿着一支铅笔站在我的桌子前。桌子上放着一张大纸,他要画自画像。他画了几笔就擦掉了,再画几笔,有擦掉了。当我看一幅画时,他很不高兴。 "好吧,"他最后和我说,"我就再加一条尾巴,把他画成一只猴子吧!"
他开始加上小尾巴,我大笑起来。
5.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇五
There was a sturdy ram with a pair of thick horns upright on its head.
It strutted about proudly and saw a fence built with bamboo and wood in front, which blocked its way. It cast a sidelong glance at the fence, lowered its neck and lunged at the fence, hoping to knock it down. The fence remained intact but the ram injured its own horns.
If it had not injured its horns, the ram would have persisted obstinately in butting against the fence, even against the spokes of a wheel until it bled with a fractured skull.
As a result, with its horns caught in the fence, the ram could neither advance nor retreat butbleat helplessly.
一头长得非常雄壮的公羊的头上，挺立着一对粗大的犄角。
公羊骄傲地踱着步，看见前面有一道竹木编成的篱笆挡住了它的去路。公羊斜着眼睛看看，便弯下脖子呼的一声撞上去，想把篱笆撞倒。结果篱笆纹丝不动，它反把自己的犄角碰伤了。
假如公羊没有碰伤犄角的话，那么它还会一个劲儿地撞下去，甚至向车轮的辐条上撞去，直到头破血流为止。
结果呢?公羊的犄角被篱笆夹住，进也不得，退也不得，只能“咩咩”不停地叫唤。
6.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇六
Making His Mark
A man from the state of Chu was taking a boat across a river when he dropped his sword into the water carelessly. Immediately he made a mark on the side of the boat where the sword dropped, hoping to find it later. When the boat stopped moving, he went into the water to search for his sword at the place where he had marked the boat. As we know, the boat had moved but the sword had not. Isnt this a very foolish way to look for a sword?
楚国有个人坐船渡江时，他不小心把自己的一把宝剑掉落江中。他马上掏出一把小刀，在宝剑落水的船舷上刻上一个记号。船靠岸后，那楚人立即从船上刻记号的地方跳下水去捞取掉落的宝剑。他怎么找得到宝剑呢?船继续行驶，而宝剑却不会再移动。像他这样去找剑，真是太愚蠢可笑了。
7.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇七
A little rabbit is picking mushrooms in a forest. A wolf is coming. He is very hungry. “Oh, a little rabbit! This is my favourite food!”
一只小兔子正在森林里采蘑菇，一只狼来了，他很饿。“哦，一只小兔子!这是我最喜欢的食物!”
The rabbit sees the wolf, but she is not afraid. She pretends to be poisoned by the mushrooms. The wolf thinks, “If I eat her, I will be poisoned, too.” So he goes away.
小兔子看见了狼，但是她并不害怕。她假装吃蘑菇中毒了。狼想到:“如果我吃了她，我也会中毒的。”所以他走开了。
Then the rabbit is very happy. She goes on picking the mushrooms.
小兔子非常高兴，她继续去采蘑菇。
8.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇八
Wolf and egret
The wolf mistake swallowed a piece of bone， very suffered， running about， look for to visit the doctor everywhere。He met the egret， and talk to settle the service fees to invite him to take out the bone， egret to stretch in the wolf's throat the own head， and the 叼 outs bone， then toward to settle the good service fees wolfThe wolf answer says:" hello， friend， you can since the wolf 嘴 take back the head in the peace ground， and the difficult way return the dissatisfied foot， and how and still speak the guerdon?"
This story elucidation， guerdon badly person act charitably， and is a bad person of cognition and does not speak the reputation's innate character。
狼与鹭鸶
狼误吞下了一块骨头，十分难受，四处奔走，寻访医生。他遇见了鹭鸶，谈定酬金请他取出骨头，鹭鸶把自我的头伸进狼的喉咙里，叼出了骨头，便向狼要定好的酬金。狼回答说：“喂，朋友，你能从狼嘴里平安无事地收回头来，难道还不满足，怎样还要讲报酬？”
这故事说明，对坏人行善的报酬，就是认识坏人不讲信用的本质。
9.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇九
Standing on the roof of a small goat and the Wolf
Kid standing on the roof and saw the Wolf walked through the bottom and then abuse him, and laughed at him. The Wolf said, "oh, buddy, scold me is not you, but your terrain. "
This story to illustrate, dili and cat often give a person the courage to fight against the strong.
翻译：站在屋顶的小山羊与狼
小山羊站在屋顶上，看见狼从底下走过，便谩骂他，嘲笑他。狼说道：“啊，伙计，骂我的不是你，而是你所处的地势。”
这故事说明，地利与天机常常给人勇气去与强者抗争。
10.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇十
The Crow and The Pitcher
A crow felt very thirsty. He looked for water everywhere. Finally, he found a pitcher.
But there was not a lot of water in the pitcher. His beak could not reach it. He tried again and again, but still could not touch the water.
When he was about to give up, an idea came to him. He took a pebble and dropped it into the pitcher.
Then he took another and dropped it in.
Gradually, the water rose, and the crow was able to drink the water.
口渴的乌鸦
一只乌鸦口渴了，到处找水喝。终于，他找到了一个大水罐。
然而，水罐里面的水并不多，他的尖嘴够不到水面，他试了一次又一次，都没有成功。
就在他想放弃的时候，他突然想到一个主意。乌鸦叼来了一块小石子投到水罐里，接着又叼了一块又一块石头放进去。
渐渐地，水面升高了。乌鸦高兴地喝到了水。
寓意：有些东西虽然看起来微不足道，但如果积少成多，便会带来很大变化。
英语 故事 会出现学生认识或是不认识的单词，而这个单词的重复不断出现，会加深同学们对单词的记忆。这种记忆不是死记硬背，而是在潜移默化中，让学生记住。这次我给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。
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英语幽默小故事1
Don't Pick Up the Money on the Ground
An economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.
Why not?
If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
别捡地上的钱
一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。
“为什么不捡?”
“假如那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。”
“该发明的都已经被发明出来了。”
英语幽默小故事2
The Less You Know, the More Money You Make
Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.
Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have
Knowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.
Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.
知识越少挣钱越多
定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
下面是对该定理的一个严格的数学证明：
假设一：知识就是力量(Power)。
假设二：时间就是金钱。
每个工程师都知道：功率(Power)= 。既然知识=力量，时间=金钱，我们有：知识= 。求解金钱表达式，我们得到：金钱= 。
因此，当知识趋于零时，无论你做了多少功，金钱趋于无穷大。
结论：知识越少，你挣得的金钱就越多。
英语幽默小故事3
They Should Be Playing at Night
A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing. The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to some frustration among the three. Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over to them. He introduces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he is with is blind! The aide thanks the three in appreciation for their patience for the blind golfers. The priest goes, "Oh no, all my life I've preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about the blind!" The therapist says, "I've been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, shame on me!" The economist says, "Oh no! They should be playing at night."
他们本该在晚上打球
神父、心理学家和经济学家三人结伴打高尔夫。前面的一组打球进度极其缓慢，这让三人大为恼火。他们开始抱怨，前面那组中的一人听到抱怨声后朝他们走了过来。他 自我介绍 说是前面那组球手们的助手，因为那组球手都是盲人。助手感谢他们三位耐心等待。神父听后忙说：“哦，不会吧?我一辈子都在祈祷同胞们过上更美好的生活，而我却在这里抱怨这些盲人!”心理学家也赶紧说：“我一生的信条是帮助别人，可是我却在这里抱怨这些盲人，我真惭愧!”这时只听经济学家说：“哦，别这样!他们本该在晚上打球的。”
英语幽默小故事4
A fellow pilot flying over the Midwest heard an air-traffic controller trying to contact an airliner for normal frequency change.“Flight 354，“said the controller，"contact Kansas City Center on frequency .“The request was repeated several times with no reply from the ，in exasperation the controller raised his voice."Flight 354，Simon says contact Kansas City Center on frequency .”The call was acknowledged with an emharrassed reply and prompt compliance.
一名飞行员在中西部上空听到地面指挥塔的指挥员在呼叫一民航调整其正常接收频率。"354航班，”指挥塔在呼叫，“请与堪萨斯市中心频率联系。”这一指令重复了几次之后，竟没得到任何回音。最后，指挥塔的指挥员显然是被激怒了，他大声地锐:"354航班，西蒙说速与135. 5预率联系。”这一声显然奏效，只听对方慌忙地做了回答并迅速服从了指挥。”
英语幽默小故事5
Even My Driver Can Answer that Question
A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give a series of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For the task, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highly technical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to the economist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I could deliver it myself." The economist found this idea intriguing and decided to switch places with him at his next lecture.
The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some one in the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had no idea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, and then replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."
甚至我的司机都能回答那个问题
一位著名的博弈论专家一获得克拉克奖便开始在东北部各个知名大学展开一系列讲座。为了完成这项任务，他租了一辆车并雇了一名司机载着他到处赶场。没有别的事可做的司机就坐在课堂里听专家那科技含量颇高的讲座。几场讲座下来，司机对这位经济学家说：“我听了这么多次你的讲座，我觉得我自己也能讲了。”经济学家觉得这个想法很有趣，于是决定下次作讲座时他们两个互换位置。
司机完美无瑕地完成了演讲。可是当讲座结束后，听众中有人问了他一个技术含量相当高的问题，他不知如何开口回答。司机沉思了一会，回答道：“这个问题太简单了，连我的司机都能回答。”
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若是你在 学习英语 的过程中感到很枯燥，不妨来读一些英语幽默小 故事 放松放松。英语幽默故事简短，内容诙谐幽默，情节生动有趣，相信在你在阅读的同时也可以一起学习英语哦。这次我给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。
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英语幽默小故事1
My husband，Michael，a bus driver，was passing a deserted bus stop when one of his passengers called out that a woman wanted to get on. He pulled up to the curb and opened the doors.
我丈夫，麦克是个开大巴士的。一次当他刚要开过一个无人上下车的车站时，一位乘客喊过有位老妇人要上车。麦克把车停靠在马路边，打开了车门。
After a minute，Michael saw an elderly woman with a cane crossing the street slowly.
过了足有一分钟，麦克才见到一位老太太拄着拐杖，慢腾腾地过着马路朝车子走来。
He waited patiently as she made her way to the bus and climbed the steps.
麦克衬心地等她来到汽车旁上着台阶。While she was looking in her purse for her bus pass，he began to close the doors.”Wait a minute!”she snapped."My mother's coming.”
趁老太太打开钱包找月票的工夫，麦克欲关门，老妇人阻止道:“等一会，我妈妈还在后面呢!”
英语幽默小故事2
Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."
Bernie应邀来到他的朋友Morris家吃晚餐。在朋友家，Bernie发现，不管问他老婆什么问题，Morris总要在每句话的前面加上一些亲密的称呼，象蜜糖，我的爱人，亲爱的，甜心等等。Bernie对Morris说，“你们夫妻俩真够亲密的，结婚这么多年了，你还叫她叫得那么亲密。”Morris低下头，小声地对Bernie说，“老实跟你说吧，三年前我忘记老婆的真名是什么了。”
英语幽默小故事3
Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?" His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."
两个男人正在穿过丛林，突然，一只老虎出现在远处，向他们冲来。 其中的一个人从包里拿出一双“耐克”鞋，开始穿上。另一个人惊奇地看着他说，“你以为穿上这个就可以跑得过老虎吗?” 他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得过它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。”
英语幽默小故事4
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
一个女孩去 拜访 她的金发朋友，这个朋友最近养了两只“狗”，于是女孩问道：“它们叫什么名字呀?”
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
金发朋友说，一只叫Rolex，另一只叫Timex。
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?
女孩说：“哪有狗狗叫这个名字的。”
"HELLLOOOOOOO..." answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"
“那个……”金发朋友说。“他们是监视器!”
英语幽默小故事5
Too Much Pressure
For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job，but now I found out the real reason：I’m tired because I’m population of this country is 237 million are leaves 133 million to do the are 85 million in school，which leaves 48 million to do the this there are 29 million employed by the federal government，leaving 19 million to do the million are in the Armed Forces，which leaves million to do the from the total the million people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves million to do the any given time there are 188，000 people in hospitals，leaving 1，212，000 to do the ，there are 1，211，998 people in leaves just two people to do the and you’re sitting at the table reading jokes.
压力太大
多年以来我一直感到很疲惫，我曾经把原因归咎为缺乏睡眠以及来自于工作上的巨大压力。但是，我现在找到了真正的原因：我感到疲倦是因为我超负荷工作。我们这个国家有亿人口。其中亿已经退休了。还剩下亿在工作。有8，500万人还在上学，工作的就剩下4，800万。这其中还有2，900万联邦政府雇员，真正做事的就剩1，900万人，又有280万人在服兵役，就剩下1，620万人在工作。从中再去掉各州和市政府的雇员1，480万人，还剩下140万人工作。但又有万人生病住院，现在只剩下万人工作。其中1，211，998人在坐牢。这样仅剩下两个人在工作，就是你和我。而你却坐在桌边看笑话。
英语幽默小故事6
Top 9 Reasons to Study Economics
Economists are armed and dangerous: "Watch out for our invisible hands."
Economists can supply it on demand .
You can talk about money without ever having to make any.
You get to say "trickle down" with a straight face .
Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out .
When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.
If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE".
Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward , in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue.
When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility.
学习经济学的九大理由
经济学家们会武功：“小心我们的无影手。”
经济学家们能够做到有求必应。
你可以不必挣钱而对金钱夸夸其谈。
你可以开始拉着脸说“涓滴”这一术语了。
米克·贾格尔和阿诺德·施瓦辛格两人都学过经济学，看看他们后来都成为了什么样的人物。
站在失业队伍里的时候，至少你会知道自己为什么失业。
假如重新安排“经济学”这个词包含的字母，你得到的是“小丑的鼻子”。
伦理学教导我们坚守德行本身即是回报，在经济学中我们得到的教导则是获得回报本身即是德行。
喝醉了的时候，你可以告诉所有人你只是在体验边际效用递减规律而已。
英语幽默小故事7
Nobel Prize in Economics
Economics is the only field in which two people can get a Nobel Prize for saying exactly the opposite thing.
Or Economics is the only field in which two people can share a Nobel Prize for saying opposing things. Specifically, Myrdal and Hayek shared one.
(A rumor has it that there was a similar case in neuroscience, Golgi and Cajal, maybe economists are not so different!)
诺贝尔经济学奖
两个持完全不同观点的人都能够获得诺贝尔奖，这种情况只有在经济学领域才会发生。
或者两个持完全不同观点的人能够分享诺贝尔奖，这种情况也只有在经济学领域才会发生。具体而言，缪尔达尔和哈耶克就是如此。
(有传言称在神经科学领域也有类似情形，比如戈尔吉和卡哈尔，所以经济学家也许并非那么另类。)
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英语故事简单易懂
Last week I went to the theatre. I had a very good seat. The play was vey interesting, I did not enjoy it. A young man and a young woman were sitting behind me. They were talking loudly. I got very angry. I could not hear the actors. I turned round. I looked at the man and the woman angrily. They did not pay any attention. In the end, I could not bear it. I turned round again. "I can't hear a word!" I said angrily. "It's none of your business," the young man said rudely. "This is a private conversation!"
Long long ago, there was a shepherd boy who grazed sheep on a hill everyday.One day the boy felt a little lonely and wanted to make fun of the farmers laboring at the foot of the hill. So he climbed up a big stone, and shouted:"wolves have come! wolves have come!"In a minute, the farmers came only to find there were no wolves at all. Seeing the farmers were taken in, the boy laughed and said, ‘I am just joking, Don't take it seriously.’ Then the farmers shook their head and left.A few days later, the farmers heard the boy shout again. So they ran up the hill and found that they were cheated again. Another day, several wolves really came. The boy was frightened and cried out: ‘ help! Wolves have come!” But this time, no one came.从前,有个放羊娃,每天都去山上放羊。一天,他觉得十分无聊,就想了个捉弄大家寻开心的主意。他向着山下正在种田的农夫们大声喊:“狼来了!狼来了!救命啊!”农夫们听到喊声急忙拿着锄头和镰刀往山上跑,他们边跑边喊:“不要怕,孩子,我们来帮你打恶狼!”农夫们气喘吁吁地赶到山上一看,连狼的影子也没有!放羊娃哈哈大笑:“真有意思,你们上当了!”农夫们生气地走了。第二天,放羊娃故伎重演,善良的农夫们又冲上来帮他打狼,可还是没有见到狼的影子。放羊娃笑得直不起腰:“哈哈!你们又上当了!哈哈!”大伙儿对放羊娃一而再再而三地说谎十分生气,从此再也不相信他的话了。过了几天,狼真的来了,一下子闯进了羊群。放羊娃害怕极了,拼命地向农夫们喊:“狼来了!狼来了!快救命呀!狼真的来了!”农夫们听到他的喊声,以为他又在说谎,大家都不理睬他,没有人去帮他,结果放羊娃的许多羊都被狼咬死了。
不知道这个够简单吗？一、 春节 Spring festival Spring festival is the most important festival in China. On the first day of Spring festival, the people wear the new clothes and visit their relatives. They greet each others for good luck, and give the red pocket money to children. Everyone enjoy Spring festival. 译文 ： 春节 春节是中国最重要的节日。在春节的第一天，人们穿上新衣服，拜访他们的亲戚。他们互相问候别人的好运气，并把红色的给孩子零用钱。每个人都喜欢春节。二、中秋节 Mid-Autumn FestivalMid-Autumn Festival (also known as the Moon Festival), the third major festival of the Chinese calendar, is celebrated on the 15th day of the 8th month, as the moon is supposed to be at its maximum brightness for the entire year.译文： 中秋节 中秋节（又称为中秋节），中国日历的第三个主要的节日，是第八个月的第十五天庆祝，当月亮被认为是在其最大亮度为整个一年。三、国庆节 The National Day The National Day,is a important festival in China.We will fly five Stars flag in the first day in Tian'anmen Square.And we also sing national anthem,too!And we can have a seven days.We are stay with our family in these days.We can relax at home and doing our homework or study!译文： 国庆节 国庆节是一个很重要的中国传统节日。我们要在天安门广场上升国旗，唱国歌。我们有七天的假期！我们可以和自己的家人呆在一起，也可以在家休息、写作业、学习
三个小故事.两个是伊索寓言.另一个是讲美国第一任总统华盛顿关于诚实的故事"樱桃树". 1.The Wolf And The Lamb A WOLF meeting with a Lamb astray from the fold, resolved not to lay violent hands on him, but to find some plea, which should justify to the Lamb himself his right to eat him. He thus addressed him: "Sirrah, last year you grossly insulted me." "Indeed," bleated the Lamb in a mournful tone of voice, "I was not then born." Then said the Wolf, "You feed in my pasture." "No, good sir," replied the Lamb, "I have not yet tasted grass." Again said the Wolf, "You drink of my well." "No," exclaimed the Lamb, "I never yet drank water, for as yet my mother's milk is both food and drink to me." On which the Wolf seized him, and ate him up, saying, "Well! I won't remain supperless, even though you refute every one of my imputations." The Dog And The Shadow A DOG, crossing a bridge over a stream with a piece of flesh in his mouth, saw his own shadow in the water, and took it for that of another Dog, with a piece of meat double his own in size. He therefore let go his own, and fiercely attacked the other Dog, to get his larger piece from him. He thus lost both: that which he grasped at in the water, because it was a shadow; and his own, because the stream swept it away. Aesops Fables 3.The Cherry Tree WHEN George Washington was about six years old, he was made the wealthy master of a hatchet of which, like most little boys, he was extremely fond. He went about chopping everything that came his way. One day, as he wandered about the garden amusing himself by hacking his mother's pea- sticks, he found a beautiful, young English cherry tree, of which his father was most proud. He tried the edge of his hatchet on the trunk of the tree and barked it so that it died. Some time after this, his father discovered what had happened to his favorite tree. He came into the house in great anger, and demanded to know who the mischievous person was who had cut away the bark. Nobody could tell him anything about it. Just then George, with his little hatchet, came into the room. "George," said his father, "do you know who has killed my beautiful little cherry tree yonder in the garden? I would not have taken five guineas for it!" This was a hard question to answer, and for a moment George was staggered by it, but quickly recovering himself he cried: -- "I cannot tell a lie, father, you know I cannot tell a lie! I did cut it with my little hatchet." The anger died out of his father's face, and taking the boy tenderly in his arms, he said: -- "My son, that you should not be afraid to tell the truth is more to me than a thousand trees! yes, though they were blossomed with silver and had leaves of the purest gold!" -- M.L.Weems
